Today, it is my pleasure to interview Larina Kase, who is a speaker and New York Times bestselling author.
Our topic is her new book "The Confident Leader". This book is a great read for all. In a sense we are all leaders.
We all face hard challenges where more confidence and less fear would allow us the breathing space to take on bigger and better things.
Larina, As business owners, why do we need to become confident
leaders?
Whether you own a business of 1 (you) or
1,000, you are the leader—of yourself, your business, your life. As a leader,
your confidence will determine what you achieve as well as how others respond
to you and your business.
In terms of business growth, your
confidence will enable you to take on key challenges in growing your business,
such as:
- Describing the benefits of your business and
educating others why they should do business with you.
- Getting yourself to do the marketing activities
that you want to avoid (things like public speaking, networking, running a
blog) but you know would help you build your business.
- Inspiring others (your employees, virtual
assistants, contractors) to stay motivated and see the big picture.
- Presenting your business from a standpoint of
conviction and value (which attracts others and makes them want to do
business with you) rather than insecurity or desperation.
How can we tell if we (or others) lack confidence?
The number one thing to look for is
avoidance. When people have confidence, they will take on all sorts of things,
feeling secure that even if they “fail,” they’ll work it out. On the other
hand, when we lack confidence, we tend to avoid situations when we fear we
could fail, embarrass ourselves, or let ourselves or others done.
Keep in mind that avoidance can be subtle.
It may not be as obvious as declining to participate in a project. More often,
we’ll attempt something but do it half-heartedly or rely on crutches.
For example, let’s say that you lack
confidence in your ability to introduce yourself. You may not avoid it (you
know you can’t sit there and say nothing), but you use the crutches of speaking
really fast, looking down, and not
saying an interesting fact about yourself.
Or let’s say that someone lacked
confidence about confronting people and having difficult conversations. She may
attempt to confront someone but she tries so hard to be nice and not offend
that person (her crutch) that she lacks assertiveness and doesn’t express her
needs.
What if we come across as too confident?
Many people worry about appearing arrogant
and would rather appear less confident than over-confident. In reality, it is
often a lack of confidence that makes people come across as over-confident.
When we lack confidence, we tend to
overcompensate. And it is the overcompensation makes people look over-confident
(or look like they’re trying too hard) and puts others off.
If someone is worried that he will come
across as unintelligent, he’ll try to use fancy language, and will look like he
thinks he’s so smart. If someone worries that she will come across as boring, she
will try to be interesting, and will look like she loves to talk about herself.
There are exceptions. Sometimes people
actually are arrogant and have an
inflated image of themselves. You would know if this were you because you’d
think that you can do no wrong, your opinion of yourself would be higher than
others (you’d be shocked by Bs on papers or performance reviews that were not
100% glowing). You’d dominate conversations and not be interested in others’
viewpoints. If this is you, then these things need to change. If this is not
you, then you really don’t need to worry.
What are 3 simple things we can do to build our
confidence?
- Develop your
growth mindset.
This is your ability to ask yourself questions like, “What can I learn?”
from situations regardless of their
outcome and NOT to judge yourself from the outcome.
- Take on
strategic challenges. Push yourself about 20% past your
comfort zone by seeking out and taking on challenges (not just dealing
with them as they arise).
- Give yourself
credit. Reward your
efforts (not your results) when you have done something difficult.
I’m
not a business leader- should I check out The Confident Leader?
This
book is really more about leading yourself than leading others. It’s about
challenging yourself, pushing your boundaries, staying motivated, and standing
out. There’s a detailed description (and some great bonuses) here:
http://www.ConfidentLeaderBook.com Have a look now because I’m offering seats on
a telesummit where I’ll be interviewing bestselling business authors like
Dan
Pink, Michael Port, and Joe Vitale for those who get the book by November 10th.
Larina Kase, PsyD, MBA is a professional speaker,
author, and recognized expert in peak performance, anxiety and stress
management, leadership, and entrepreneurship.
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