Retreat Coach on the Farm

Touchstone for the Holidays

I was reminiscing recently about what Thanksgiving means for my family and I realized… things that are constant have a certain appeal. Change is inevitable, in fact, it is what makes life exciting and challenging. Imagine if nothing ever changed and every day was exactly the same. It wouldn’t take long for the masses to go screaming into the night. But once in a while it feels very much like a touchstone when certain things are always the same. That is how it is at my house on Thanksgiving.

There are some years that the house fills to over 20 plus people and other years it might be only 6 or 7. This is because my family is grown and they have other obligations. When we are all together the house is not only full of love but it just plain full. Elbow to elbow we share our blessings and our challenges.  Everyone grows and changes. New members are added to the family as some are no longer in our lives. It is always a very exciting time when a new baby is coming for their very first Thanksgiving.

Although we experience many changes during our day-to-day life one fact remains constant. Thanksgiving dinner will always be at my home. Never later than 5am a huge turkey will go into the oven stuffed with a mouth watering dressing. This is the constant that makes Thanksgiving a touchstone at my home. Everyone knows no matter what their plans are or even if their plans change at the last minute (perhaps due to the weather) there will always be a warm turkey ready by 1pm and enough food for all.

The holidays are wonderful and stressful at the same time. Finding your touchstone can be your anchor in a sea of activity!

Where is your touchstone for the holidays?  Where do you have an anchor? If nothing comes to mind for you then perhaps you can be the start of a touchstone for others. Start a tradition that others can always count on. It might be as simple as tea and cookies are served at your home on Christmas Eve or your neighborhood will always have a holiday block party. Whatever it is my wish for you is to enjoy your holiday season. Create stability (joyful touchstones) for yourself and others!

Athena (granddaughter) & Tyler (my husband's nephew) both were 2 years old last Thanksgiving. Look at that smile!

 

David (my husband) reading Tyler a story!

Take a Challenge “Isn’t She Cute?”

Recently, while designing my new retreat series, I recalled something my 2 year old granddaughter Athena said over breakfast a few weeks earlier.  She was talking with her grandfather and looked across the room at a picture of herself. In it she was wearing a floppy summer hat and showing off a semi-toothless smile. Athena stated with gusto“that is a picture of me.” She spoke in such a proud voice. Her grandfather smiled as he said “yes it is.” After being quiet for a moment she said with a smerk “Isn’t SHE cute?”  My husband and I laughed recalling the story. Thinking how sweet and innocent a two year old can be.

As I thought about the retreat I am designing, Self-Care for women, body-mind-spirit (March being about the body) I could not help but think how hard it is for us to look at a picture of ourselves and feel the same pride and admiration. Instead of seeing the beauty in our smile or the shine in our hair, we are always looking for the flaws. Where did we lose the child like wonder in what we see?

My week long challenge for you, if you choose to accept it, is to find a picture of yourself. Choose one that has meaning for you. It can be any picture at all. Maybe someone caught your smile in a floppy hat one summer day or riding on the back of a donkey in the mountains. Take the photo you decide on and display it in plain view. I want you to see it often. The challenge is that every time you see the picture I want you to say these words out loud “Isn’t SHE cute?” Say the words with all the meaning and pride that you can rally! If someone hears you, just say, “I am working on the seven day challenge and smile!”

After a week has passed, take out your journal and answer this question; “How am I different after this one week challenge? What changed for me inside or out  as a result of this?”I would love to hear your answers. If you are saying to yourself, bah hum bug, it can’t make a difference or you might be thinking this is really silly. What I want to say to that is, “If you were two years old, you would think it was great fun. What happened to your child like wonder?” J

COPYRIGHT NOTICE
copyright  2008
Judith Geiger
Flying Change Coaching, LLC
All rights reserved.

A Non-traditional Wedding Dress Adventure

My daughter is getting married this summer. Lora and Ed are planning to be married outside near a lake and the reception will follow in a lovely pavilion on the property. As you can imagine the family is very excited. Lora has a tendency to put things off, thinking there will be plenty of time later, so her sister (Tamara) has been building fires under her lately. You see, the wedding is this July and Lora and Ed have just begun planning.

Tamara built one of her fires this past weekend and five women were piled into a car headed to Rochester, NY to buy a wedding dress.  In the car were some of the attendants which included sister, sister in-law, and friend. There was also one Mother in tow and the bride! We set out for an adventure. I was not sure how things would go. Lora has never been traditional. Ask me sometime about her senior picture that she now says “Mom, how could you have LET me wear that for my senior picture?” As if I could have done anything about it.

We were on a mission hunting for a non-traditional wedding dress.  What a fabulous experience it turned out to be. Ten hours later I was home and so excited about what we had accomplished. You see we not only found the bride her gown, we also found the attendants dresses and my mother dress. Can you believe we did all of this without a single negative word spoken the entire day? We even took time for a lovely lunch and told secret girl stories in the car as we laughed a lot!

Thinking back on our trip I was really amazed at the kindness and patience shown by all. No wedding stress was apparent anywhere. At one point I was in the dressing room with Lora and she was slipping into a gown when she said “Mom, I know you would like me to wear a traditional white dress, some day Tamara will give you that.” It was her big day and she was worried how I felt about what dress she wanted to buy. It is this kind of caring that makes life worth living for me.

I told her she could have anything she wanted. It wasn’t about me. At that moment I had a flashback to her senior picture. I did not share this with her but had a smile inside remembering her, those many years ago; when I had begged her to wear that pearl necklace instead of the colored bangle bracelets half way up her arm. I knew Lora was going to be Lora and I loved her so much for her strength of character. Knowing what she wants, standing strong in her convictions all the while being conscious of what those around her need.

I am going to remember this shopping trip for many years to come. One important thing I am taking away from that day is to remember how to stand up for what I want in a way that honors others.

Is there anywhere in your life where you need to say, I want to do things the non-traditional way? How can you speak your truth with kindness?

Shhhhhhh~Is the word for now but the dresses are all gorgeous, of course. I’ll post pictures later but for now it is all a big secret! Ed might be reading this!

COPYRIGHT NOTICE
copyright  2008
Judith Geiger
Flying Change Coaching, LLC
All rights reserved.

Athena's Sunset

I was on a call recently where coaches were talking about the different ways in which they engage in self care and the topic of sunrises and sunsets came up. They were saying how nurturing it is for them to take time out of their busy day and just notice what is around them to be appreciated.

It reminded me about a day last fall when Athena (my two-year old granddaughter) and I were coming in from the barn after feeding the horses and I noticed a huge sun, just ready to set, behind a distant hill.

I ran into the house and grabbed a large comforter off the couch and took Athena’s hand as we moved to a spot on the grass behind the house. I wrapped us both up tight with the soft blanket as she sat on my lap, so I could keep her warm. I explained in detail what we were watching as I sprinkled in long silences. I wanted her to understand the sacredness of what we were doing. Watching a sunset, for me, needs to be a very soul nurturing moment. When the sun was gone, I explained that now the moon and the stars she loved so much would come out and watch over her throughout the night.

I didn’t think anymore about our sunset watching until Athena came to spend the night again a couple of weeks later. As we walked to the house after barn chores, she spotted the sun getting low. All of a sudden she ran all the way back to the barn and took her grandpa’s hand. “Come watch the sun grandpa” so I explained to him that she wanted him to come watch the sunset with us. He told her, “go on down and I will be there soon, I am fixing the tractor now.” He looked at the sky and thought he had enough time to do both. He thought he would finish the repair job and be by our side in plenty of time to watch the last bit of sun slip behind the hill. It took the sun a bit longer to go down this time because we started watching it sooner but it didn’t take it long enough for grandpa to see it. Athena kept asking, “When is grandpa coming? He can’t see it from the barn.” She was very disappointed that he didn’t get to enjoy it with us.

Grandpa not only missed the sunset but was even late for dinner that night. When I asked him about why he missed being with us during the setting sun, he confided that he really thought he could do both. Finish the repair on his tractor and be with us in plenty of time. When he looked up and realized that he had missed the opportunity he felt bad.

It made me wonder in that moment, how many things have I missed out on, thinking there will be time for me to do it later?

My question for you is, as we start this wonderful New Year 2008:

What are you missing out on?

What can you do today to be sure that you don’t miss any sunsets in your life?

COPYRIGHT NOTICE
copyright  2008
Judith Geiger
Flying Change Coaching, LLC
All rights reserved.

"Mission Impossible"

Here is a story written by my future son-in-law. I asked him to write about his journey to find my father's headstone. I only saw my father a very few times in my life, so what Ed did for me, touched my heart deeply. I want future generations in my family to know where my dad is buried but also to learn about the man who would not give up his mission until he found my father's grave. All my love and gratitude, goes to the man, who wrote the following story. (Ed Shea)

It was Monday, November 11, 2007, a sunny day with temperatures in the mid 70’s.  I left Oklahoma City around nine in the morning, heading south on Interstate 44, to my destination in Lawton.  I believed it was an appropriate day for what I jokingly called an “impossible mission”.  I was going to go to a cemetery that I have never seen and locate a headstone of where I had no idea of its location.

I had referred to this trip as the impossible mission when talking to Ed, a classmate and newfound friend of mine that I had asked to go along with me on the trip.  He thought that I was crazy to attempt it and decided to go to the casino instead (to which I later found out that he lost two hundred dollars; serves him right).

I considered it an appropriate day because it was Veterans Day and I was destined for Fort Sill and the gravesite of SFC Theodore Wiwatoski, a US Army veteran that served during World War II and the Korean War.  But it wasn’t a soldier that I was looking for; Theodore was the father of a special person in my life, Judith Geiger.  She is the mother of my fiancée Lora and a person that has taken me into her family as one of her own.  My self proclaimed mission was to get on the Army post; which may be a project on its own with the heighten security of military installations, locate the post cemetery, and then locate his gravesite.  Reasoning was plain and simple; Theodore had passed away on October 28, 1982, a time in Judith’s life in which she was raising three children, all under the age of fourteen.  Financial burdens in her life made the trip to his funeral an impossibility.  And to this day, she had been unable to make the trip half way across the nation to view his final resting place.

Since Lora was able to visit Oklahoma for a weekend, Judith had called us on Saturday, two days prior, and mentioned to us about the gravesite and asked if we would we be able to go see it.  The call came late in the afternoon and with an hour and a half drive to Fort Sill, and the time to locate the gravesite, the five o’clock closing of the cemetery made the decision for us.  We would not be able to go.  I believe that Judith was understandably disappointed, after all, how often is a family member in the vicinity of Lawton, Oklahoma.  This was on my mind throughout the rest of the weekend and before Lora left Sunday to come home, I told her that I was going to find the site for Judith.

Second Batch

   For those who were wondering about the robins I am happy to report that the first batch of babies are gone and Mom Robin had a new batch hatch just this past week! See the tiny beaks pictured here! As in the earlier blog about the robins I am practicing letting go of the fear and the robins are doing just fine on their own!

                        

SUMMER FUN TO ALL!  Judith Geiger ~~ Flying Change Coaching

                                                               

Springtime Fear

Living in the country has taught me that nature can sometimes be cruel. So many young birds and animals that are born in the spring, don’t survive, for one reason or another. Often that reason is that a predator kills the young. I know this is nature’s way and I thought that I had come to terms with this natural law.

The baby robins that were born in my bird feeder, only 10 feet from my living room window this spring, have taught me quite another lesson. When mother robin started to build her nest, I told my husband,"here we go again!" He remarked that robins are not very smart. They always like to build their nests right in harm's way. We have had many robin nests raided by our cat or other predators because of the nest location. My bird feeder is only one of the unsafe places they choose. Our house gutter pipes have been another common one. Then we wonder why our cat Opie is walking on the roof. Only later do we discover the remains of a nest and I am always so very hurt.

This year when Mrs. Robin laid her eggs, I took my two-year old granddaughter over to the feeder and let her peer at the most perfect little blue eggs. There were three of them. I explained to her what they were, as she gazed at them, fascinated by the new site! She had been watching the birds all winter having their dinner from that very spot. As we walked away I noticed a sadness in myself. I was thinking that she would never be able to see the babies. Doom and gloom were following me that day.

As the days passed, I noticed myself paying very little attention to the nest. I would glance at it once in a while and I knew mom was still tending but that was all. Then I realized something very important. I was living in fear. I was so worried that something horrible would happen to the newborn birds that I was not enjoying the moment. That led me to ask myself. "Where else do I not enjoy my life because I fear something might go wrong?" I think this is something we can all ask ourselves. Are we choosing to live our lives with as much joy as possible? Are we stepping up and taking risks so that we can live our best life?

My plan is to be aware when I am dodging something and then choose what I truly want. Ask myself if I am getting all the joy and pleasure out of my life that is available to me, or am I holding back out of fear? I have made the conscious decision to protect the new baby birds to the best of my ability and leave the rest up to a higher power. I will just enjoy each morning that I see mother robin feeding the bobbing heads. I will smile when I see the little ones hanging over the side looking for a bite to eat or laugh at the funny way they try to groom themselves so young. I will enjoy all the benefits of having three baby robins right in my path. I will also remember the lesson they have taught me.

I Choose to live my life to the fullest and let fear take a very back seat! Fear does have a place in my heart that protects my survival but I won’t let it interfere with my JOY!

You can click on pictures to get a larger view! Babies above! Opie lying in the sun on the other side of the house!

COPYRIGHT NOTICE
copyright  2007
Judith Geiger
Flying Change Coaching, LLC
All rights reserved.

How Negative Emotions Impact our Moods

The story that I am about to tell you is true, although it is hard to believe. I have family members that can back me up on this.

This is a promised story about the infamous Frank, our African Grey Parrot!

My husband and I have moved Frank from our living room to the small room just off of the kitchen.

(I will save that story for another time) African Grey’s need stimulation since they have been scientifically proven to have the mentality of a five year old. Because we are away all day working we decided to put a small black and white TV in Frank’s room to keep him company. We have a satellite dish so we leave the TV turned on all day to cartoons. This went on for a while and it even got to the point that Frank was yelling out certain cartoon names in the evening.

Shortly after we started doing this we noticed Frank was getting more and more aggressive. Anyone owning a bird like Frank knows that Grey’s respond to kindness and love. If you get angry and yell at Frank, say for biting you, he will get upset and bite you every time he sees you after that for days. He really does hold a grudge. We knew this about him but what was so surprising was that after watching cartoons all day he began to be very mean all the time. He would bite any one coming near his cage and he would scream and yell in an unusual way. Needless to say it took my husband and my self a long time to figure out that the cartoon violence was making Frank act in this manner.

One day we were both home and we saw the cartoon with a lot of violence and Frank was hanging upside down in his cage screaming! I thought, WOW, if this is what goes on all day perhaps it was key to his behavior. David and I talked it over and decided to change Frank’s channel and just see what would happen. Sure enough, Frank turned back into his sweet self. Or should I say into as sweet as a Grey can be. J  He began to watch ball games, soap operas and game shows.

This has really set me on a path of discovery. I ask my self questions now like how does this TV show leave me feeling, energized or exhausted? How does our TV or any negative behavior that we witness impact our own moods? I would love to hear from others on this subject. What has been your experience with this or is it something that you really don’t think about? I know I was in the latter group before Frank opened my eyes to what is all around me! The next time you are in a negative mood or just a little off check your environment and think about what you have been exposed to lately!

COPYRIGHT NOTICE
copyright  2007
Judith Geiger
Flying Change Coaching, LLC
All rights reserved.

Harley's Early Spring Fling

Harley Painted by Mary Lacerenza Yesterday, when I was busy on a coaching call my husband decided to go to the barn ahead of me and start barn chores. After I ended my call, I pulled on my boots and coat and headed to the barn. Just as I was approaching, I heard a very loud yell, "You get back here you * * *. " I thought, "Oh no, it must be HARLEY!" He is my 5-year-old horse, who as yet, has not grown up! He was born here on our farm (another story all together) and from the first moment here he has made our lives, let’s just say, more than interesting. Harley’s mischievous nature has taught us to be resilient.

As I heard the shouting I ran around the back of the barn to see, of course, Harley running around wildly in the deep snow along the outside of the fence because a mare was inside and he thought he was Mr. Stud. I guess no one told him about his surgery as a colt. As Harley raced around, my husband and I could not get a hold on him since he wasn’t wearing a halter. Have you ever tried to catch a horse that did not want to be caught? It can be an adventure! Once, I managed to toss a rope over his neck when he stopped long enough to touch noses with the mare but one flick of his head and he was gone again. Then my husband took a stance in the only opening on one side of the barn. He was between the barn, an 8-foot snow pile and the fence. Harley was not getting through and I was coming up fast in the rear. Harley was caught!!! WRONG! We both stood there in amazement when Harley jumped over the 8-foot snow bank. He is trained as a jumper but this was too much! All I saw was his big rear in the air as he (not very gracefully) scrambled to the other side! After a few more minutes~~ Harley decided to stop playing with us and he calmly walked himself back into the barn.

Lessons from Harley:

If you have a goal and something is blocking your way and you can’t find a way around it then, UP and OVER you go, even if it leaves your rear high in the air and you need to scramble to the other side in little less than a graceful manner!

SMILE~I do love that horse!

This is my first blog entry! Please check back to learn about more members of the farm. Frank our talking parrot if often subject of discussion! If you care to know more about me or coaching please feel free to check out my web site! COPYRIGHT NOTICE copyright 2007 Judith Geiger Flying Change Coaching, LLC All rights reserved. If you would like to copy anything please contact me directly: judith@flyingchangecoaching.com