Margot Datz talks about Self-Care, Divorce and her wonderful book, A Survival Guide for Landlocked Mermaids.
Judith: Welcome Margot to my blog. It is a warm sunny day here in Central New York. Spring is in the air with Bluebirds and Robins singing with joy! I would imagine it is just the kind of day that would inspire an artist like yourself.
Margot: Spring arrives very late to our island of Martha's Vineyard, due to the ocean retaining the cold, and right about now the whole island is populated with raving lunatics stricken with such severe cases of spring fever that it has reached epidemic proportions. I envy the true spring of upstate New York, and miss it dearly, having been raised there. When spring finally does arrive, I will be the first to go leaping into it, like Isadora Duncan.
Judith: I want to tell you how very inspiring your book, A Survival Guide for Landlocked Mermaids is and I adore your paintings. Your book speaks to the very heart of women's desires. It touches very profound subjects with a lightness of spirit. Could you tell my readers a bit about your work?
Margot: I am a painter, muralist, designer, illustrator- and love the opportunity to be creative in many directions. Writing was my minor in college, but always remained in the background of my creative field. About 11 years ago I began to paint my landlocked mermaids. They just bubbled up from my unconscious, to awaken me to all the issues I was grappling with internally. It was a very delightful discovery when I learned that these issues were far from singularly my own. There were whole schools of women of like-mindedness. Upon this realization, I gathered up this body of paintings and wrapped words around them, (kind of a cart before the horse writing experience), creating my little book of illuminations.
Judith: It is so interesting that you say the paintings bubbled up from your unconscious and were awakening you to your internal issues. I love at the end of the book where you write "To Thine Own Mermaid Be True." Self-care seems to be a big part of what your book is talking about. Was there a shift taking place for you during this time?
Margot: That is a very interesting observation, Judith. At the time, I was undergoing the painful, challenging, ever-so-daunting ordeal of a divorce, after 20 years of marriage. I was a newly single mom with kids in tow, out there slugging it out in the art world, juggling 12 balls, dropping at least 3 daily. Both of my parents were dead, and except for my woman friends I really didn't have a net. I was the bottom line- the cook, boot camp sergeant, Florence Nightingale, a carpenter, plumber, entrepreneur.... an endless list of demands. If I didn't take care of myself, I would self destruct, and that would serve no one. It is very easy indeed for women to slip into what ends up being masochistic behavior. We don't set out to be masochists, however, we are oddly rewarded for it. What can compete with the saintliness of a long suffering woman? I saw that if I was going to be effective in the long run I HAD to take care of myself. One of my jobs as a mother was to help my children internalize an inner mother that would continue to care for them as they grew up and away from me. It was not enough to simply care for them, and neglect myself. It was not enough for me to love them, and not love myself. "Love is as love does." Self-care is living out the love we have for ourselves, love in motion. This comes much more naturally to some than others. I hope that various passages instill the precious importance of self-care.
Judith: I absolutely LOVE how you explained the need for self-care and also for a support system. It sounds like your transition would have been a bit easier if a solid support system had been in place for you prior to your divorce. I invite all women to take action on their own support system now. You never know when one will be needed. You have modeled so perfectly here the one most important message that all women need to understand and that is, we truly need to learn to love ourselves. I once heard a woman say, (who was working on her own personal growth) “I love YOU best, AFTER ME.” That very simple statement rings in my ears whenever I am making a difficult choice to say to someone I love, “NO, I cannot not do that for you today.” Loving ourselves is crucial!
YOU Margot, are a courageous and strong woman. My readers can learn so much from you. I cannot thank you enough for sharing your heart here on my blog. Your wonderful book, A Survival for Landlocked Mermaids, not only tells women about your powerful messages but each and every illustration shows them what is possible. Margot, would you tell my readers which illustration is your favorite and why?
Margot: There are definitely landmark pieces for me, the pieces that hauled me up by my tank top straps and said, "Darling, pay attention!" The first was the piece of the mermaid with the goldfish bowl on her lap-"She was trying to remember the last time she'd had a really good swim". That was my first mermaid piece, and it was an awakening that begat awkenings. Pandora's box. A quiet personal favorite is "Marlaina walks her dog," which is where I am at now. It is about composure and the archaic virtue of POISE. I have a girlfriend who was in charge of a rubbish disposal business on the island at one time. In the rubbish business, there is a term called a "contained burn", which means that whatever one is dealing with is dealt with in a controlled environment, which is very metaphoric in a deeply pragmatic sense. I think that one of the first steps of maturity is to own your own impact on the environment, physically AND emotionally. Each one of us is our own ecosystems- and we can be biofriendly or remarkably toxic or somewhere in between. To own your own "fallout" is a huge step in spiritual advancement. And a HUGE step in personal empowerment. Each one of us matters IMMENSELY. Every woman who awakens to her own personal prowess and potential quickens a multitude more. Awareness is more contagious than negativity. Soooooooo, WAKEY WAKEY!
Judith: "Awareness is more contagious than negativity" reminds me of a quote I love.
"How others treat me is their path, how I react is mine." ~Wayne Dyer
If we are able to stay strong in "who" we are and not get caught up in what others say or do, it will act as a shield to keep negativity at bay. I thank you Margot for sharing all of your wisdom and spending your precious time here on my blog. You have been a true delight to talk with. I hope you come back again soon.
Margot: Thank you for the opportunity to share my life with you and others. All you merwomen out there, you know who you are! Please check out my new book, and visit me on my website at www.margotdatz.com, and to thine own inner mermaid be true.
Judith: My wish for all women is to show up authentically and be true to yourself!!! My passion is coaching women to find their authentic self and live their passion. If you would like coaching to assist you in moving in that direction, then please, contact me for a free no obligation consultation. Email or call 315.497.3059 Visit Coach Judith's website.
"Be authentic and passionate everyday!" Coach Judith
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